爽爽学历史

路漫漫其修远兮，吾将上下而求索。

小时候我经常站在窗前或蹲在门口眼巴巴地等待对面邻居家的那个小女孩出来。那小女孩长得并不漂亮，但是她经常穿着一双非常漂亮的红皮鞋。每当那一双小红鞋迈出门坎，我就会异常兴奋，紧盯着她那双脚是怎样抬起又怎样落地，直到小红皮鞋在我眼前变成小红点最后消失在远方。在我童年的记忆里，红皮鞋就是白雪公主的舞鞋，灰姑娘的水晶鞋，它成了我儿时的一个梦想。

有一年父亲给我买了一双皮鞋，说要我在参加单位组织的春节联欢晚会时穿。鞋的前尖和后跟是棕色的，中间部分是紫红色呢绒，旁边开口有三个棕色扣子，样子真的很好看。我想要是红色的一定会更漂亮。这是我第一次穿皮鞋，所以虽然不是红的，但我也很高兴。新鞋穿在脚上，我左看右看，还在屋子里学着那小姑娘的模样走来走去。睡觉时我把它放到了枕边，夜里我梦见枕边的皮鞋变成了一双红皮鞋，和那个小姑娘脚上穿着地一模一样。第二天，我穿着新皮鞋和父亲参加联欢晚会，我给叔叔阿姨唱歌跳舞，表演获得阵阵掌声。我清楚记得，有好多小朋友眼盯盯地看我的"红皮鞋"，大人也夸我漂亮，我想一定和脚上这双"红皮鞋"有关。可惜我只我穿过一次那双"红皮鞋"，以后家里的老二、老三、老四也都只穿过一次。每年过春节，母亲让我们姐妹们穿一次、过过瘾，就把皮鞋收放起来，既没有打过皮鞋油也没有打过鞋楦，所以鞋虽然还是挺新的，但等到老五长大时，"红皮鞋"已经变型没法再穿了，我真的好心疼。

80年代初，我在上海瑞金医院进修，家乡的一位同学到上海看病之后，让我陪她逛大上海，在南京路上的一家商场的橱窗前我停住了脚步。
她问我："怎么了？"
我说："你看这双红色的皮鞋多好看"。
"哎！喜欢你就买嘛！"她说。
"你看我这个年龄还能穿红色的鞋吗？"我在问她，好像也在问自己。
"怎么不能，人有实际年龄、体表年龄和心理年龄。你想穿红皮鞋，就说明你的心理年龄还很年轻，这不是好事吗？为什么不买呢？"
我于是花了半个月的工资买了那双红色皮鞋。回到宿舍我几次把它拿出来，左看右看，还在屋里试穿了很多次，但终因那个年代思想守旧，只因为没看见有其他人穿红色皮鞋而不敢穿。学习结束离开上海时，我穿上那双红皮鞋在瑞金医院门前照了张像片留念，这是我有生以来第一次穿红皮鞋。回到闭塞的家乡小城，人们的思想观念更加保守，红皮鞋只能在梦里穿，于是我把它送给了一位特立独行的好朋友。

我做了母亲以后，每次出差，只要给女儿买鞋就尽可能买红色的，红色凉鞋、皮靴、跳舞鞋，各式各样，配上不同款式的上衣或裙子，非常漂亮，女儿很是喜欢。穿红皮鞋的梦想终于在女儿的身上变成了现实。

如今生活富足，商场里的商品琳琅满目，可以随便挑选。人的思想观念也开放了，想穿什么敢穿什么，但我仍对红皮鞋情有独衷。穿上红皮鞋再配一套白衣服，要多精神有多精神。年过半百，我终于圆了童年时红皮鞋的梦想....

最近获得一个美国慈善家的奖学金 (Kathryn Davis Fellowship for Peace)，将会去位于加州的全封闭式阿拉伯语学校(Middlebury Summer Arabic School at Mills Campus in California)学习。以下是我申请奖学金的个人陈述，回顾自己学习外语的历程，与各位看官分享。

In my very first class of studying English as a foreign language, a very wise professor told me: "Be prepared to embrace a whole new world when you are learning a new language." Although it has been more than ten years, her words still often resonate in my mind. Indeed, it was through studying English that I learned new knowledge and acquired a new way of thinking. It was also through studying English that I began to understand and appreciate the differences between different peoples. Language is a wonderful bridge for cross-cultural communications.  

My English language skills also unexpectedly brought me to the Arab world. As a young journalist for China's first twenty-four hour news channel, I was sent to the region to cover events. During those trips, I learned some rudimentary Arabic, among which is ana siniya (I am a Chinese). Wherever I went in the Arab world, as soon as I said ana siniya, the response was always a passionate ahlan wa sahlan (welcome). The Arab people's hospitality and friendship deeply touched my heart and stimulated my interest in studying the Arabic language. 

A year later, I quit my job and enrolled in the MA program in Middle East studies at the American University in Cairo (AUC). I told myself that if I wanted to become a good journalist who writes in-depth and human-oriented stories about the Arab world, I need to study the Arabic language and the history of the Middle East. There has already been too much misinformed media coverage about the region and I do not want to contribute to that. During my two and a half years' study at AUC, I not only studied the Arabic language in class, but also experienced the Arab culture in daily life. In addition, I continued working as a freelance journalist, covering the war between Israel and Hezbollah in the summer of 2006. My reports focused on the humanitarian crisis in Lebanon. 

After graduating from AUC, I came to Georgetown University to pursue a PhD in history and continue studying Arabic. My broad research interest is an intellectual history of Arab-Chinese mutual perceptions. Although both China and the Arab world are great civilizations, their knowledge of each other is often limited and mediated by others. One of the reasons for it is, perhaps, the language barrier. As a result, sometimes misunderstanding and mistrust happen. As they are getting increasingly in direct contact with each other nowadays, I believe it is important to overcome the language barrier and contribute to the mutual understandings between the Chinese and Arab peoples.

As philanthropist Mrs. Kathryn Wasserman Davis encouraged us to "bring about a mindset of preparing for peace instead of preparing for war," I would like to add to her ideas and advocate that "we need to be prepared to communicate for peace with the power of language!"

I don't have a magic formula, but I do have one concrete example from the reality of life. How can a poor female graduate student ride bicycle to an important gathering with a nice dress and high heels without being judged by her fellow bikers on the street? Yes, the old saying is "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" and in DC, bikers wear helmets, shorts and cycling shoes when they are on the road. But what if the helmet will ruin the hairdo, the shorts are not allowed once arriving at the destination, and the cycling shoes certainly do not match with the dress? Option one, change at the destination. That means I'll have to carry a huge backpack full of useless-but-necessary crap to make myself look decent. It's just way too cumbersome. Option two, high heels on bike! I mean biking is THE most cost-effective way of transportation. I'm not giving it up simply because I'm going to a fancy hotel. After all, the function lasts only one hour but the cab money to get there could be a whole week's grocery.

So, I rode my beloved bike with high heels and pretty (i.e. not that comfortable) dress. I arrived safe and sound, but felt quite awkward the whole time. It certainly didn't help when a punk yelled me as an amateur in his way. "Shut up!" I yelled back. Hello, I probably have ridden bicycles longer than his life. After all, China is the kingdom of bikes!

On my way home, I decided to blog this interesting episode of my life. I'm not advocating riding bikes with high heels all the time. But when it is absolutely unavoidable, what's wrong with it anyway? I just need to have the courage to break the norm and herald the new trend.

最近读了一篇我们乔治敦大学历史系教授关于新疆事件的博文。小女子把它翻译成中文，供各位看官心平气和地了解学者对此事件的看法，也许能为解决问题提供有益的思路。英文原文在这里。

世间许多事，有时可以生死相许，高高擎起，有时也可以淡然一笑，轻轻放下。

最近读了一本书，读后写了一点儿感受。

Joan Judge's The Precious Raft of History (Stanford University Press, 2008) is a valuable contribution to the understanding of China at the turn of the twentieth century. Previous scholarships have examined China during this period of tremendous transformation in various aspects, such as domestic upheaval, western imperialism, and institutional breakdown, etc. However, one important component of the society is often missing-that is the voice of women. Judge gracefully fills in this gap. Despite the sometimes complicated academic jargons, the issues she digs out are truly insightful.

Women in traditional Chinese society were subject to many confinements. The sole social role of women was to be virtuous wives and devoted mothers. A paragon woman would be someone who was always submissive and attentive to her husband, and always caring and dutiful to her children. Most women did not have access to education, as Confucius once advocated "a woman without talent is virtuous." Even among the elite women from the upper class whose family could afford private tutors, their education was mainly about arts, etiquettes and manners.

However, this situation started to change as western modernity came to meet traditional Chinese values. Judge points out that education, especially public or overseas education, transformed the expectations of women. In addition to being virtuous wives and devoted mothers, women also wanted to be responsible citizens who cared about the fate of the Chinese nation. Therefore, women like Qiu Jin, a revolutionary heroine, would go to Japan for study in hope of coming back to save China from Western imperialism and internal imperialism from the Manchu rulers.

However, it was certainly not easy to reconcile the different roles of women. Qiu Jin had to abandon her husband and children, and sell her wedding dowry to finance her adventure. Furthermore, the radical change of thinking she went through also caught her off guard. Although she travelled physically over space from China to Japan, the new knowledge she acquired actually enabled her mind to travel in time from traditional to modern thinking. It was because of this tremendous internal turmoil that she went through, she later became one of the vanguard leaders for women's education in China. This, perhaps, is another proof to Friedrich Nietzsche's famous quote: "You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star."

中国有句老话，知识就是力量。的确，知识不仅可以创造财富，更可以化解冲突。小女子最近有个感悟：当今世界战乱纷繁，起因当然各有不同。但追根溯源，许多其实是缘于交战双方对对方宗教、历史、文化的无知。因为无知，而又无欲求知，所以产生误解、偏见、仇恨。日复一日，年复一年，最终双方都成为了无知的奴隶，悲哉呜哉。

昨天去美国国会图书馆（Library of Congress）查找资料。在麦迪逊楼的门口看到这样一句震撼人心的话：在此与各位分享。

奥斯卡的喧嚣渐渐沉寂下来，《功夫熊猫》没有拿到最佳动画片奖，小女子很是失望。不过没有关系，荣誉、奖项这些东西总是相对的，得失很多时候并不能完全代表一件作品的真实价值。至少在小女子的心目中，《功夫熊猫》是最棒的。它给我带来的开怀大笑与深刻思考是许多得了奖的作品也无法比拟的。所以，特在此节选两段精彩对白，与各位看官分享。

[After the first day of Kung Fu training, Panda was physically hurt with blacks and blues everywhere. Furthermore, he was really, really frustrated. Weeping alone while eating peaches in a remote corner of their training ground, he felt hopeless and helpless. Master Wugui (the tortoise) saw him and offered much-needed comfort and encouragement.]

Master Wugui: I see you like to eat when you are upset. So, why are you upset?
Panda: Today I probably sucked more than anyone else in the history of Kung Fu, in the history of China, and in the history of sucking!
Master Wugui: Probably.
Panda: And the Furious Five (Master Shifu's other students-Tigress, Monkey, Mantis, Viper, and Crane). Man, you should see, they totally hate me.
Master Wugui: Totally.
Panda: How's Master Shifu ever going to turn me into the Dragon Warrior? I'm not like them (the Furious Five). I've got no claws, no wings, no nothing, even viper has his thingie. Maybe I should just quit and go back to make noodles.
Master Wugui: Quit, don't quit. Noodles, don't noodles. You're too concerned with what was and what will be. There is a saying: Yesterday is a history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That is why it's called present...

Here's another one of my favorite episodes:

[After Master Shifu (the red panda) heard the news that Tailung had broken out of prison for revenge to the Valley of Peace, he rushed to Master Wugui for rescue, who was meditating under a peach tree. (Tailung, the snow leopard, Master Shifu's former pupil and foster-son who turned evil after Master Wugui refused to appoint him as the Dragon Warrior because Master Wugui saw darkness in his heart)]

Master Shifu: Master Wugui, I have some very bad news!
Master Wugui: aah, Shifu. There's just news. There's no good or bad.
Master Shifu: Master, your vision was right. Tailung has broken out of prison and he is on his way! (Earlier, Master Wugui envisioned that Tailung would return. He then appointed the Panda as the Dragon Warrior to defeat Tailung)
Master Wugui: Aa... that is bad news, if you don't believe that the Dragon Warrior can stop him.
Master Shifu: The Panda? Master, that Panda is NOT the Dragon Warrior! He wasn't even meant to be there. That was an accident!
Master Wugui: There ARE no accidents.
Master Shifu: Yes, I know, I know. You said it already, twice.
Master Wugui: Well, that was no accident either. My friend, the Panda will never fulfill his destiny, nor yours until you let go of the illusion of control.
Master Shifu: Illusion?
Master Wugui: Yes... Look at this tree. I can't make it blossom when it suits me, nor make it bear fruits before it's time.
Master Shifu: But there are things that we can control. I can control when the fruit will fall. [Master Shifu kicked the tree. Some peaches fell down, one of which hit right onto his head.] I can control where to plant the seed. [Master Shifu stamped his foot onto the ground and dug a hole. He then put the seed into the hole.] That is not illusion, Master!
Master Wugui: Yes. But no matter what you do, that seed will grow up into a peach tree. You may wish for an apple or an orange, but you'll get a peach.
Master Shifu: But the peach cannot defeat Tailung!
Master Wugui: Maybe it can, if you're willing to guide it, to nurture it and to believe in it...
Master Shifu: But how? How? I need your help!
Master Wugui: No, you just need to believe in it... My time is up in this world. I'll have to go. Promise me, Shifu, Promise me. You will believe... 

[After his last words, Master Wugui disappeared into the air. Petals of peach flowers gracefully swirled down from the tree onto the ground.] 

What can I say? Classic! 这里是功夫熊猫的官方网站，有空您不妨也去瞧瞧。

初到米国四月有余，终日困于教室、图书馆，呜哉呜哉，生活一团浆糊。故新年伊始，踌躇满志立下新志向：少学习、多睡觉，身心健康最重要！有雪人熊猫为证！

So, I'm fresh off the boat, well, actually off the plane. But whatever I'm off from, I am a freshman to America. And that is for sure.

Even before I left Egypt, friends in the US had already written to me and the subject of their emails was unsurprisingly all the same—Welcome to America! The only difference is that some used one exclamation mark, others used three and still another used up to six! I knew the "legendary" America is not all about exclamation marks, but I didn't really know what other punctuations I may use to describe it.

On my flight to DC, the girl sitting next to me gave me an exclamation mark too. I learned from her that when it comes to dealing with America, I first need to have the right attitude, i.e. be positive, open-minded and perseverant.

However, once I've landed on America, the landlady on whom I originally hoped to practice the right attitude gave me a big question mark, actually many question marks. No matter how polite and considerate I was to her, she simply threw my food out of the fridge. And once I told her I wanted to leave, she threw more things at me- hysteria, mean language, lawsuit threat, you name it. The only thing she didn't throw at me was my deposit money, even after I left.

Then as I wandered on the streets, feeling completely homeless, some other people extended a helping hand. Now I've found a new place. So, America is back to an exclamation mark again.

I don't really like this roller-coaster way of life. My personal favorite is ellipsis—the three tiny, little dots that carry big, gigantic meanings. It's serene. It's soothing and it's everlasting. It's without boundaries, but it's full of imaginations.

Therefore, I made a wish. I hope my journey in America can be just as simple as the three little dots....

情绪这个东西，真是让人捉摸不透。明儿就要离开埃及了，本想临行前写点儿东西，结果在大街上逛了一整天，一句煽情的话也没想出来，郁闷。难道我不留恋埃及吗？不对啊，前几天还哭哭啼啼来着呢，这会儿临到关头，怎么没感觉了？

天儿还是热得要命，但我的耐热能力已经大大提高；街道还是脏乱繁杂，但我已经学会了走"洁径"；路人看我的眼光还是奇奇怪怪，但我看他们的心态已经截然不同；一言概之，在经过了埃及的磨砺后，小女子练就了一身钢筋铁骨，今后遇到再大的困难，应该都能挺过去了吧。想着想着，我越走越轻快，不知不觉中，走到了终点。嘻嘻哈哈，这就是我现在的感觉！

مع سلام يا مصر 别了，埃及。有一天我一定还会再回来，因为这片土地，实在太神奇，一旦踏上它，回访的脚步就会永不停歇。

最近做了一件令自己非常自豪的事情：我终于劝动了老妈学习使用电脑和电子邮件！长久以来，老妈一直以年龄为由，拒绝学习新鲜事物。无论我怎么磨破嘴皮，她就是不肯听（气死我了！）。最近我给她讲了一个故事：我们暑假的阿拉伯语班里，有一位年近60岁的巴基斯坦老妇，每天坚持和我们一样，背着书包上学，啃语法，背单词。尽管她说，令人头晕的"天书"经常弄得她一头雾水，但她还是学得乐此不疲。不知是不是这个故事的原因，几天前老妈终于给我发来了第一封电子邮件，我感动得简直不知如何是好！今天老妈又发来了一篇她以前写过的小短文。文章虽然没有华丽的修饰，但却字字透着弥足珍贵的记忆。我曾经答应过老妈，将来有一天，我会帮她把这些文字整理出来，集结成册，永久珍藏。虽然目前距离实现这个愿望还有很长的路要走，但从今天起，我将会陆续在博客中转载老妈的短文，与各位看官分享。也许与她同年代的人会从中找到些许共鸣。。。（老妈，加油啊，要继续写啊！）

今早打开电脑，在《国际先驱论坛报》上看到一则新闻。看后捧腹大笑，这里跟各位看官分享一下！

美国白宫昨天宣布，小布什将在8月到北京参加奥运会的开幕式。白宫特意选在7月4日美国独立日假期的当天宣布此重要决定，就是希望低调处理，躲过刺耳的反对声音，因为许多美国人早早就借着周末长假，外出快活去了。但还是有一位尽职尽责的记者参加了白宫在假日举行的记者招待会。白宫发言人例行宣布总统八月份的出行计划，其中蜻蜓点水地提到北京。记者立即追问，布什这样做是否代表美国在政治上支持中国？发言人避而不答，只是强调说，"总统先生非常希望给我们的运动健儿打打气。"

近来关于要不要去参加北京奥运会的问题，让世界各国首脑大伤脑筋。参加体育盛典，本是件愉悦身心的事情，自然人人都喜欢啦，但如果事情真是这么简单就好了。由于体育盛事被政治化，许多外国领导人都骑虎难下。参加吧，反华势力和各式各样的人权组织立即给他们扣上支持专制政权的高帽子；不参加吧，与中国有紧密经贸往来的商业集团力量又说，这样会断了他们的财路。To be, or not to be? That is a really tough question!

这不，本来去年9月份的时候，小布什就已经宣布决定要参加奥运会了。结果经过今年接二连三事件的折腾，他又拿不定主意了。一会儿说去，一会儿又说不去，三会儿又说去，但具体安排待定。寻思来寻思去，他最终还是选择了去，而且是高调参加开幕式，这说明美国还是很看重与中国的关系嘀！只是为了避开美国国内的反对声浪，白宫选择了低调处理。哎呀，政治、外交，累死人了！

会说中文的澳大利亚总理陆克文早就说了，要去要去一定要去；倔强的铁娘子德国总理默克尔也早就说了，不去不去坚决不去；法国总理萨克齐先说坚决不去，后又说要看西藏问题对话的进展而决定。结果新浪网的民调告诉他了，"别来，俺们压根儿就不欢迎你。"哎呀，真是没面子；处境最妙的要数英国首相布朗了。他会去，但不是参加开幕式，而且是参加闭幕式，从北京的手里接过奥运会会旗，因为2012年的奥运会将在伦敦举行:-)

爱情，有时真的会美得让人不知所措。好朋友Nicole就要结婚了。她在博客中告知朋友，Nicole & Adam精心设计的婚礼网站正式启动了。我好奇地打开链接，立即被一股爱的暖流笼罩，感动得掉下了眼泪。

网站共分为6个部分。第一个部分叫作《我们的故事》：分别介绍两人各自的成长经历、相识的经历、订婚的故事，以及甜蜜爱情的点点滴滴；第二个部分叫作《婚礼人物》，一一介绍10位伴娘和伴郎、主持婚礼的教父、Nicole & Adam的双亲，以及他们与新人的深厚情感；第三个部分叫作《婚礼进行曲》，详细介绍婚礼的举办地。在美国，许多人都是从其他城市千里迢迢赶去参加朋友婚礼的，所以Nicole & Adam专门介绍了他们所在的城市、举办婚礼的俱乐部、附近的酒店（供外地来的朋友暂住，还有特别的优惠价呢）、以及城市里其他娱乐消遣的去处；第四部分是《新婚礼品店》。在美国，筹备婚礼的新人通常会在购物网站上注册他们喜欢的礼品。参加婚礼的朋友（或者不能前去参加婚礼的朋友），只要在网上点击礼品，之后用信用卡付款，就可以轻松为新人购买礼品。注册的礼品大多是日常生活用品，什么餐具啦、窗帘啦、野外宿营的帐篷啦，还有书店的购书券、电影院的年票、别致餐厅的晚餐券啦，等等等。都是一些不太贵重的礼物，但却是构筑幸福生活的精美点缀。第五部分叫作《蜜月之旅》，介绍了他们将要展开的蜜月之旅（加勒比海上的一个美丽岛国），以及他们对蜜月之旅的期待。最后一个部分是《敬请回复》，请所有准备参加婚礼的朋友在收到请柬之后，在网站上点击回复，既方便、又快捷。

Nicole的婚礼将是我参加的第一个西方人的婚礼。尽管距离婚礼还有一个多月的时间，我已经在非常兴奋地期待中了。这样让我不禁想到我们中国人的婚礼。当然，我们有许多宝贵的传统值得保留，但心平气和地讲，我们也有一些陋习值得反思。

婚礼是爱的庆典，无论规模大小，只要是精心安排的，就是美丽动人的。而在中国，有些时候有些人筹办婚礼，只重视排场，只追求气派，不求最好，但求最贵，结果造成严重铺张浪费；朋友送给新人礼物，为的是庆贺他们的爱情，选择他们心仪的礼品，即经济、又实用，日后小两口每次用到一件朋友送的礼物时（比如说餐具啦），都会想起他们与朋友的珍贵友谊，这是多么美妙的一件事情啊。而我们习惯的参加婚礼"随份子"，有时候迫使参加婚礼的人即使囊中羞涩，也要大方出手，有时候更成为行贿受贿的最佳借口。婚礼结束之后，新人闷头清点红包，真有点儿做生意的感觉，却很少留下甜美的回忆；抽出三、五天的时间到其他城市参加朋友的婚礼，不仅可以体会其他地方的风光人情，还可以顺便当作一次放松心灵假期，岂不优哉？只要我们把硬着头皮"随份子"的钱节省下来，就可以作为到外地参加婚礼的出行费用，是不是比我们习惯的"凑份子、吃大餐"要惬意些呢？

当然我们中国人的生活方式和西方人有很多不同之处，写这篇文章的目的不是要照搬西方人的习惯，而仅是提供一点值得借鉴的想法。相信我们聪明的中国人一定能想出更好的创意，改掉陋习，还原婚礼真正的意义！

Nicole & Adam, Congratulations!!! 如果您也感兴趣，他们的婚礼网站在这里。